Poor thieves, if only they had read the book...

Evidently, a couple of kids tried the old saltwater in coin slot trick, you know the one that makes a soda can dispenser give out a free soda. You know, the trick that hasn't worked in a decade. I'm feeling lazy,

Here's the entry from the book:

Make a Soda Machine Shoot Cans of Soda
As Seen in Episode: 103 - Rush to Judgment. As a juror in a racially charged murder trial, MacGyver can’t resist digging up more facts on his own, thereby courting the wrath of the judge.

What You Need

Half a cup of salt
Two-liter bottle of lukewarm water
A newspaper
An evil soda machine


What You Do

1. Pour salt into water bottle.

2. Shake bottle, mixing the salt and water thoroughly.

3. Roll up the newspaper into a funnel.

4. Use the newspaper funnel to pour the salt-water solution into the coin slot of the evil soda machine.

5. Stand back as the soda cans come rolling out.

6. Enjoy your free, if slightly shaken, sodas.

Why It Works

Inside the soda machine is an electric switch that
controls the release of soda cans. The combination of
salt and water create a mild electric charge. When the
salt and water is poured through the coin slot it washes
over the electric switch controlling the release of the
cans. The salt-water solution creates what chemists
call a salt-bridge of which an electric current passes
readily through, causing the machine to short-circuit
itself. This in effect, trips the electric switch, and as a
result the machine spits out soda cans.
Before getting too excited about a free sugar high,
keep in mind that this trick only works on older soda
machines. Nearly every soda machine in the United
States has been replaced with newer models on which
this trick will not work. But, oh, those Guatemalan
soda machines are just waiting for your electrochemical
shenanigans.

Problems with Paypal Link

I got a few messages about the Paypal link being down a couple of days ago. It should be fine, now. So, if you're trying to buy go ahead.

I've been pretty negligent with posting on this blog. I started a new company in December and it's eating all my time. If you're curious about the ins and out of doing a startup in Silicon Valley, check out bretterrill.com. Meanwhile, expect much neglect over here. Sorry kids.

Thanks,

Bret

MacGyver Pen

Ah, progress. The pen is now indeed mightier than the sword (well, knife actually). I'm happy to introduce the Swiss Military Pen. That's right Military, not Army. I haven't got my hands on one yet to access it's quality, but it's a pretty cool idea nonetheless.

Here's a UK distributor. If anyone finds a US distributor, fee free to add it in the comments sections.

Breaking News: A New MacGyver TV show?!

Training MacGyver. That's the name. It's evidently a TV pilot in development. I have no other details. It was an off-hand reference in an interview with an actor/actress from Nip/Tuck.

Here's the quote:

Right now, I am headed to the studio to record some ADR for a pilot called Training MacGyver. It’s my first series that I’m a big lead in.

If anyone has info, send it my way.

BTW, if anyone isn't familiar with the process of TV pilots, here's the deal. In January, basically studios fund the production of bunch of test shows (pilots) to see if any of them have merit. Most don't. This one will probably not either.

But, I suddenly have a good idea: wouldn't it be cool to see a reality show where contestants had to escape different situations using their wits and everyday items?

Gift Ideas for Supergeeks Only

Over at MAKE, they have a list of open-source gifts, i.e. gifts you need a soldering iron to construct. I love MAKE, mainly because they gave my book a good review, and because well I'm a supergeek with a soldering iron (in storage - I'm trying to reform).

MacGyverisms: First Aid edition

Okay, I'm pretty jaded about well..everything..bust especially news articles that claim to make you the MacGyver of accounting, etc. But this article, from MSN, no less, is the rare exception. It gives some really good first aid tips, i.e. suck on a clove to relieve tooth pain, superglue a severed finger (it worked for John Wayne Bobbit - the crowd boos, he went for a lame, out-dated severed penis joke. Well, no recovery after that).

Soft-core porn and MacGyver

Yes, it's a misleading title, RDA was never much into the erotica, though Michael Des Barres was quite persistent; no the title refers to an amusing article about Mike Marvin, the writer of one of the better episodes of MacGyver - "Target MacGyver." You know, the episode where Mac and his grandpa fight off assassins in the woods using pinecomb landmines.

Anyway, the guy also produced soft-core T&A comedy - Hot Dog: The Movie, and best yet, is trying to do a remake of it. Maybe RDA will do a cameo as the studly ski instructor who steals the heros' girlfriend.

MacGyver Appeal

Just musing here, but if MacGyver was ugly would he still have fans? I just stumbled across a pencil drawing of RDA (the young RDA) on another blog and my first thought was "how sad, someone spent their weekend sketching a publicity photo from the eighties."

If you ask me, the core of the MacGyver appeal is his ingenuity. But hey, I wrote a book about his cool tricks so I guess I'm biased. And I'm also a straight male, so I have never found myself fantasizing playing boy scout with RDA. So again, biased.

Anyway, if anyone cares to comment: which is more important to MacGyver fans: RDA or how he used the knife?

While you were feasting...

...RDA was hosting an exclusive Stargate convention in Scotland. 54 people, RDA and Amanda Tapping. Join the famous people for morning coffee and afternoon tea and all that.

MacGyver Flash game

Yep, some enterprising Flash guru made a mini-game that puts you in the role of MacGyver. I'm kinda jealous because I've been working on a MacGyver text adventure (you know, like Zork) but haven't touched it since last November.

Now I fancy myself quite the puzzle-solver but I did not get too far in this game. So if someone figures it out, tell me what the f**K to do to the box.

Play the game.

Note: I just beat the game. Took about five minutes once I realized there is a stick under one of the boards on the doors. Believe me, that knowledge will save you a lot of annoying clicking around.

Happy Thanksgiving from Murdoc

I have no MacGyver news, no deep-fry turkey contraptions, no stuffing recipes using chewing gum and duct tape, not even a MacGyver carving knife joke. However, Murdoc was kind enough to send in his Thanksgiving "thanks". Here it is:

Well, MacGyver lover, you'll be unhappy to know that I'm celebrating Thanksgiving in the South Seas with my new family, a very accommodating group of Tahitian cabana boys. The turkey was dry so I killed the chef. Anyway, here is what I'm thankful for:

I'm thankful for the residuals I receive from the sales of the Season 7 DVDS,
I'm thankful that the bomb I planned last week in MacGyver's turkey should have already blown him to smithereens. (Editor's Note: it was disabled with gravy and a turkey baster)
I'm thankful that I still have all my original hair.
I'm thankful that the chef baked a pie before I shot him.

Until next time, MacGyver lover.

Yours,

Murdoc

Happy Thanksgivings.

Stargate MacGyver Video Mashup

Oh yes, I'm hip enough to throw terms around like mashup. Some other hipster decided to put together clips of RDA from Stargate with the MacGyver theme song. It's actually very good. I was surprised. Enjoy!

The video "Space MacGyver" on Google Video

The MacGyver Cure for Warts

Shocking. A second duct tape post in less than a week.

Evidently, and I had heard this before, duct tape is a better cure for warts than the standard freezing or topical salicyclic acid fix. However, finally someone did a study and proved it.

The science: duct tape deprives the wart of oxygen. Wart dies.

From WebMD: The Macgyver Cure

RSS Feed. Finally.

Now all you RSS kids can subscribe away. Click the orange chiclet and enjoy.

How Duct Tape is Made: Video

Cool, eh?

The MacGyver of MacGyver knifes

It really exists. This is not a doctered photo. Wenger, the company that makes Swiss Army knifes, released this bad boy a couple of months ago. It has over 85 functions, and weighs nearly 3 pounds. You call only order directly via this 1-800 number: 800-431-2996. How much, you say? Only $1200 dollars. Just in time for Xmas.

MacGyver Final Season DVD Review

Well, the DVD of the Final Season of MacGyver is finally being released today. I don't want to spoil it for you but it turns out that Mac had a son. Or as I like to call him, the little spinoff that wasn't.

Clearly the producers were prepared for the end, besides setting up the idea of a Young MacGyver franchise, they tried to launch a spin-off based on the Colton brothers, a fraternal bounty-hunting duo whose main crime-fighting asset appeared to be a super-intelligent dog. For the brief time that Mac appeared in the episode, aptly entitled "The Coltons", he's tied up in a basement, a timebomb ticking away nearby. Meanwhile we watch the Coltons engage in wacky misadventures. The absolute nadir of the series occurs when the superdog miraculously finds MacGyver, then manages to knock a jar of sulfuric acid to the floor where Mac can use his feet and a ruler to fling the JAR OF SULFURIC ACID over his head and directly onto the ropes that bind his hands. Why the dog didn't just grow hands and untie MacGyver, I'm not sure. It seems equally plausible.

But hey, in a season that also includes MacGyver teamed up with Merlin, yes the one of King Arthur fame, we shouldn't have high expectations. The witty title of this two-part episode, "Good Knight MacGyver". After being conked on the head, MacGyver wakes to find himself in King Arthur's Court. Hey Mark Twain, you better call your lawyers. MacGyver proceeds to unravel a murder plot with Merlin as a skeptical sidekick. If you ask me, that's a third spin-off right there. Having fully thrashed the premise, I'll admit that the episode was chockful of truly inventive MacGyverisms in a season that decidedly wasn't. He made a kite, a balloon, even chemistry equipment from medieval implements. That's the MacGyver I know and love.

Of course, Murdoc makes a fey, meglomaniacal appearance, in "Obsessed". MacGyver uses one of my all-time favorite tricks, spraying Formula 409 on lightbulbs to make them explode. It doesn't actually work sadly, but it seems so cool.

The final season is, by far, my least favorite. Not that it's not entertaining. It's good stuff. But for me, the series went downhill after MacGyver left the Phoenix Foundation. When the series started MacGyver was a superspy fighting evil all over the globe, when it ended he was just a really smart guy living off unemployment in Venice Beach.

MacGyver Final Season: Two knifes out of five.

SEASON 7 MacGyverisms
(excerpted from the appendix of The Unofficial MacGyver How-to Handbook)

126 HONEST ABE
Accessed the computer of a special helicopter with a flashlight
Blew up a door with alcohol and a fuse made from candle wax and cloth
Signaled a helicopter to fire its weapons with a razor and a mirror

127 THE HOOD
Escaped a torturer’s rack with a stake and a skeleton hand
Enhanced printing on burned matchbook with candle wax (Mac’s explanation: the wax holds the ashes together, the ink had a metallic substance that wouldn’t burn.)
Knocked an assassin off his scaffolding by threading a fire hose through it and attaching the fire hose to an elevator

128 OBSESSED
Escaped from a missile launch pad using his boots and liquid nitrogen
Created a diversion with window cleaner and a light bulb

129 THE PROMETHEUS SYNDROME
Disarmed a bomb with a pin and a magnet

130 THE COLTONS
Escaped being blown up by a bomb while being tied to a chair with a ruler, a cardboard tube, sulfuric acid and a dog. (Most absurd escape ever!)

131 WALKING DEAD
Escaped from a coffin in the back of a truck using a rope and a bumpy road
Booby-trapped a tunnel with a brick, barrels, and some wire

132,133 GOOD KNIGHT MACGYVER I & II
Made an antidote with egg whites and charcoal
Created an electrophoresis to isolate vanadium (a poison) with alcohol, wire, a candle, a zinc pot, a copper pot, and glass tubes.
Made a fire extinguisher with baking soda, vinegar and a wine bag
Escaped a firepit with the corkscrew on his knife
Made a dog whistle with a copper tube and a piece of paper
Made gooey lettering readable by burning it with gunpowder
Shined a silver barrette with ammonia to make a mirror
Escaped a dungeon with a homemade kite (silk, quills, clothe strips), gunpowder, a wine bag inflated with hydrogen produced from a combination of vitriol and zinc

134 DEADLY SILENTS
Survived a 100 foot drop by poking his knife through
a wallet and then insert the knife into a curtain and
allowing the resistance to slow his descent
Escaped a water tank by using his shoe and a hose to
hook a rope ladder outside the tank
Blew-out truck tires with a board full of upturned nails
Used a fake movie building front to stop thugs

135 SPLIT DECISION
Made boxing training devices with automotive repair equipment
Made a chill bag with sodium thiosulfate (a chemical fixer for photos) and water
Attacked thugs with construction crane

136 GUNZ ‘N BOYS
Broke into shipping office by tearing off air conditioner
Blew open a door with a beer keg torpedo
Picked the lock on handcuffs with the wire that surrounding the cork of a champagne bottle

137 OFF THE WALL
Melted the plastic tie-wraps binding his hands by pulling a heating element out of a space heater with a coat hanger and then turning on the space heater
Blew-up car by throwing a bomb down a construction chute into the path of a moving car

138 THE STRINGER
Escaped a cargo hold using a high pressure washer, 3000 PSI of water pressure, a steering wheel, and seat belts to make a water jet pack
Created a smokescreen by lighting the powder inside a flare

139 THE MOUNTAIN OF YOUTH
Escaped from a jail with an electric door with a scarf, a test tube, and access to the electric control box conveniently located inside the cell
Used a ladder as a battering ram

Cheesy MacGyver Commercial

We went for that 1980's Ronco feel. Let me know if you enjoy it.



I'm wearing the exact same pair of shoes today.

MacGyver and Pig Castration

Unlike the usual newspaper reference to bombmaking or middle-age mechanics, this Macgyver reference is truly admirable. Evidently there's a professor at the University of New Hampshire who teaches a class on how to Macgyverize items to help disabled people. Including disabled farmers, which is probably a large group with all those tractor accidents.

From the article:

"Willkomm's most interesting invention is easily the "pig jig," a contraption that allows someone to castrate a pig using just one hand, made for farmers who lost a limb. The pig is placed into it and a person pushes down on a crank with their foot that secures the pig in place and holds its legs back."

I bet poor Wilbur was hoping for a web saying "Impotent Pig". Because unfortunately Charlotte's dead.

MacGyver and "Lost"

So some wag over at AOL, speculated that MacGyver and John Locke would be good pals. While I doubt that, it does raise the mildly interesting idea of a MacGyver guest appearance on Lost. I'm kidding, MacGyver on the Simpsons, yay! MacGyver on "Lost". Cough. Cough. Lame.

A adjective which could be applied to "Lost" nowadays. It moves way to slow. Can we cover more than a day a season, J.J.? MacGyver managed to get out of any situation in less than an hour. You put him on an island with airplane fuselage and an electromagnetic super generator and he'd make a goddamn teleporter. Or at least a hovercraft.

*sigh* When is ingenuity going to return to television.

If MacGyver was a piece of clothing...

...he'd be a poufy down vest. Or at least according to this asinine "article" from the Helena Independent Record. I cringe to think that this is what passes for journalism, even in Montana. Prove to me that it wasn't written for a kindergartener. I mean, who in their right mind would speculate what kind of clothing MacGyver would be, and then what kind of moronic editor would run it in his/her newspaper. And what kind of mindless blogger would reference it...oh. Right.

The MacGyver How-to Guide to Pretexting

Anyone remember Dexter Fillmore? Dexter was MacGyver's favorite alias, a computer geek before it was cool, which he used to infiltrate companies and gain information. That, my friends, is pretexting.

Most pretexting isn't illegal. If you do not claim to be a specific person from a specific company, you're okay. So if you pretend you're a grad student to get info out of a receptionist, you're still okay. Also, provided you're not trying to obtain information from a financial company. This will probably change in the wake of the HP scandal. Unless we all forget about it because of a Congressional sex scandal. But that would never happen.

But, in 1985, none of this was illegal. The Graham Act of 1999 made it so. So Macgyver did not break any laws. Though he did frequently violate the Federal Wiretapping Act. Ends justify the means, eh, Mac?

Okay, so here's my MacGyver How-to Guide to Pretexting. Written by me, a former employee of a private intelligence gathering firm. This stuff works. Amendments and comments welcome.

1. Wear glasses. Even if you're just making a phone call, it'll help you get into character. Unless, you wear glasses, in which case, take them off.

2. Be polite. People respond well to being treated nice. Also, they will think you're Canadian, and therefore harmless.

3. Work fast. Inquire about what you want to know right away, before they have time to wonder who the hell you are.

4. Know your backstory. Otherwise you'll be grasping for an answer, which will make them suspicious. For instance, if you're claiming to be a superspy working for a pseudo-government agency, at least know how to pick a lock with a pocketknife.

5. Target receptionists. Usually, they are bored, willing to talk, and under-appreciated. Even better, their job is to provide information. Most companies completely overlook them when warning their employees about pretexting.

5. Ask your question with authority. Especially if you're talking to a receptionist or secretary. People, especially in entry-level position are reluctant to challenge authority. Think about what happens when an underling challenges Darth Vader.

6. Flirt. Tell them that they have a sexy voice. They'll be distracted by their own feelings of self-worth, and associate those feelings with you, making them even more eager to please you. And honestly, if you're talking to a receptionist, she or he is usually pretty hot.

7. Nurture a good source. After you get the information that you want, ask them about their day, the plot of Lost, etc. Anything to get trust to connect you as a person.

8. If challenged, don't hang-up. They aren't the FBI, they aren't tracing your call. Say "if, you're not comfortable giving me this information, can you connect me to someone who can. Sound angry. While they are connecting you to someone else, figure out what triggered their suspicion and try to do better with the next person. And ask for the person's direct extension, this will give a hint of the company's dialing scheme, and you'll be able to make random calls. Particularly effective at large companies.

9. Always say thank you. Yes, this is a repeat of number 2, but in the excitement of getting the information you need, you may forget. Remember, we're in a civil society, please act accordingly.

Osama Bin Laden loves MacGyver...no, SERIOUSLY.

Well, Macgyver fans, the club just got bigger. According to Kola Boof(pictured to the right), supposed former mistress/sex slave of Osama Bin Laden, he used to talk nonstop about "Macgyver" and "The Wonder Years." I can't decide which is more troubling, Osama learning about homemade bombs or identifying with Kevin Arnold's teen angst.

Of course, this doesn't surprise me, everybody who hates America, only does so because we cancelled their favorite shows. Just ask Kim Jong-il, he'll tell you all about it, he's still pissed about the cancellation of "The New Leave it to Beaver."

Kola Boof sounds like a porn name(I was hoping), but nope she's a highly regarded (or famous, whichever you prefer) Sudanese writer. Though, referring to anyone who wrote for Days of Our Lives as highly regarded seems like a bit of a PR stretch. It's all in her book, "Diary of a Lost Girl", which I'm sure is coming out soon.

MacGyver on the Mets or something...whatever.

Okay, so some writers invoke MacGyver purely to fill space and this completely unintelligible article from the New York Newsday. Something about El Duque, bubble gum, and a paperclip. Sounds like a Cuban orgy. *sigh* Is it because I don't care about baseball? Does anyone? Why are we still watching men in stripy pajamas play with their sticks and balls? Ladies, will you please stop having sex with these guys? Then no one will aspire to play baseball and we make sure articles like this will only be studied by grad students in post-post modernist literature a couple of decades from now.

Here's the article. Let me know if it makes any sense to you.

A contest!: How to Make a Cigarette Lighter - The Hip-hop way

Okay, so clearly MacGyver has influenced countless people, and evidently that includes underground hip-hop artists. Here's a lyric from some rapper named Ras Kass that details a MacGyverism:

“Mama don’t cry/Don’t worry ’bout me/As you can see/I’m actually better than before/Live wire: motherfuckin’ survivor/Fuckin’ MacGyver/Give me some toilet paper/Three pencil leads/I’ll make a cigarette lighter.”

–Ras Kass, “Shine”

Okay, perhaps, I'm dense, but how does one get fire from graphite and tissue?

Doesn't matter- I'm challenging all you rhythmically gifted people to post your own MacGyverism rap. It needs to explain how to make something and rhyme. The prize: well, if I get at least twenty entries--which I highly doubt--I'll send the winner a copy of my book. Email your entries, or just a post a comment to this thread. Whatever.



Enjoy.

Hey Ladies, so you want to be more like MacGyver...

Evidently in 44 states across the country, you can attend a "Becoming an Outdoor Woman" workshop, where you can learn among other things, how to cook a turkey with 12 inch nails and rebar. Rebar is the metal bar they put in concrete to reinforce it, for those of you who don't work in construction. They call it "MacGyver" cooking. Just in time for Thanksgiving.

Here's the link: How to Nail a Turkey -- I hope with a hammer, I don't want to imagine the spawn of a human-turkey love transaction.

Holy Crap! People actually read my blog

Okay, so I'll admit it. I pretty much wrote off this blog because I thought nobody read it, and then suddenly I receive an email telling me I need to update my readers about MacGyver Season Five being available on Mar. 14. My readers? I have readers? Will I soon be able to justify the "I'm famous on the Internet" t-shirt that I wear?

Okay, enough of that self-indulgent babble. Here's the scoop, Paramount: Mac S5 release date: 03/14/06. Until next week, kids.

Cover art link: http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/newsitem.cfm?NewsID=4466


Comments welcome.

BT

Season 4 Coming in December.

Yep, as indicated in my last post, fans do make the difference. Paramount has pushed up the release date to December for Season 4. That's four months early, and just in time for Christmas.

Here's the link: Season 4 released early.

Also some outfit called skullcandy.com released a mp3 player/watch and called it the MacGyver. If it can pick a lock then it doesn't deserve the name.

Internet Fans make the difference

According an article in the Hollywood Reporter, Paramount based in release of MacGyver (among other titles) on the strong online fan community. So people, I guess all this blogging and forum posting and fansites pays off. Thank god. Since I don't get much feedback, I sometimes don't feel like blogging. Thus the paltry amount of posts in the last month or so. I'll try and get back on the horse. The sucky thing is that most MacGyver news tends to be in reference to homemade bombs in the midwest. Not too interesting from an ingenuity point of view nor from a show point of view.

Oh well. Thank god for the Simpsons and the Season 3 release on Sept. 6.

MacGyverism of the week

Stranded researchers on an Arctic Island used spark plugs to start a fire. That's pretty ingenious if you ask me, and definitely worthy of MacGyver. Extra point for danger since they were surrounded by polar bears at the time, and teh fire was the only thing that kept the bears away. And an additional 5 points for being rescued by a helicopter in the nick of time. MacGyver would be proud.

MacGyver in the Lab - Accidentally creating waterproof paper

Recently, I read a really good book called Serendipity: Accidental Discoveries in Science by Royston Roberts. It's fairly old, published in 1989, I found it on a friend's bookshelf. Basically, it's a historical survey of important discoveries made by accident, with a hefty portion devoted to chemistry. As a MacGyver geek, I love chemistry and as a former English Lit major, I don't know enough about it.

Anyway, I bring it up because recently a scientist discovered a process for making paper waterproof. She described the discovery as the result of some MacGyver-like ingenuity, and thus I bring it to you, the reader. Enjoy.

http://news.com.com/Making+paper+waterproof--and+writable/2100-7337_3-5823337.html

MacGyver on the Simpsons!

Hell yeah. Richard Dean Anderson has been announced as a guest star on the upcoming season of the Simpsons. Perhaps a fifth husband for Patty? Finally, a reason to watch the Simpsons again.

Blogging lazy.

So I've been neglecting my news monitoring duties. Post-death of Dana, there has been nary a mention on Mac in the news. Murdoc Rulez hasn't even written in to gloat. I've been too busy to surf around to other Mac sites for my highlights features. Too busy with what? I'm glad you asked. Too busy getting my book ready for publication! That's right, July 1. Get your copy on Amazon. Pre-order today, if you want. Unfortunately, you're not an army of zombies that I can control with the merest hint of an order via this blog. If only...first I'd have you buy me one of those cool network-connected Tivos. Yummy. Then, I'll let you eat the entire House of Representatives. See, I believe in quid pro quo.

Season 2 Review.

Not by me. I won't muddy the waters with my opinion, instead I'll let a friend do it. Check out her reviews:

http://www.tvdvdreviews.com/macgyver2.html
http://www.tvdvdreviews.com/macgyver1.html

Pete's Dead -- seriously.

Dana Elcar, the actor who played PeteThorton, died last night of complications from pneumonia. He was 77.

Rockateer, over at macgyveronline.org, is collecting condolences and putting together something nice to send to Dana's family. Send your best wishes to dana@macgyveronline.org.

Season 2 released! (Yeah, we all know)

I almost let it pass with out comment. Honestly, I've been busy trying to beat Zork 2 (Infocom's brilliant text adventure game from 1982). Which makes me think I'm stuck in the Me decade, and should avoid things such things as DVD sets of MacGyver and Miami Vice, until i regain my sanity. Anyway, Mac season 2. Finally, we get introduced to the Phoenix Foundation (joy) and Murdoc (hiss). Of course, no extras on the DVDs, like I keep saying, wait for the full set in 2008. then they'll tack on soem crappy cast interviews so we'll pay 150 bucks for something we already own. See the release strategy of Star Wars for more info.

By the way, I was kid in '82, so maybe I'm just trying to recapture my childhood, or maybe because I'm really bored at work and text adventures and blogs don't attract as much attention as porn and Half-life. It's truly a mystery.

Stargate

Have I mentioned that I don't watch Stargate? Never seen it, not curious, don't care. Saw the movie, didn't like it. Just because RDA is starring on it, doesn't mean I need to watch it. Believe me, I didn't watch Dana Elcar (Pete) in anything since MacGyver, although I am fond of Maxwell Smart and the Nude Bomb (1980) but not necessarily Pete's performance in it.

I just thought full disclosure was necessary. That I'm a MacGyver whore but not a RDA whore. There my conscience is clean. Now I can enjoy Season 2 unencumbered.

Every episode of MacGyver ever available on DVD

Okay, so I'm bored. I've been waiting around for Season 2 to come out, June 7 as I'm sure you already know, and now that the TV season ended (no more Alias or Lost, alas), I'm pretty much chewing on my toenails for entertainment.

Naturally, I check in at the forums of macgyveronline.org. Pretty much the premier group devoted to all things MacGyver and discover a roiling discussion over whether or not the sites selling all the seasons of MacGyver on DVD are legit. Of course, they're not. But who cares. If you want every episode of MacGyver on DVD and are aren't willing to wait until 2007 (when Paramount will finally roll out Season 7) to get them, then go ahead and buy them. Believe me, the Chinese Mafia needs your money, white slavery doesn't pay like it used to, since the Russians got involved.

I bought 3 seasons of "24" in Vietnam for 30 bucks. Quality: It was just like watching it on Tivo, which is pretty much how they recorded it in the first place.

So the question: Am I waiting for the official DVDs? Yeah, because I already collected all the episodes off Bittorrent, so I can afford to wait.

We'll definitely been seeing Seasons 3 and 4.

Rejoice MacGyverites! (yeah, I know MacGyverites is a cheesy pseudo-religious appellation, but too bad cuz it's my blog and I like to type "MacGyverites"). Anyway, DVD sales of Macgyver Season 1 have been described as "huge" and way beyond our estimates", so it's a no-brainer that they going to continue their release schedule. Hell, they'll probably even speed it up.

And maybe the Family Guy factor will come in to play. Family Guy sold so many DVDs that they brought the series back from the dead. Do I think this will happen to MacGyver? No. but I do predict a cheesy MacGyver reunion movie on ABC for May sweeps of 2007. And this may revive the interest in the Young Macgyver show, but I kinda hope not.

RDA at E3 Expo

Yep, Richard Dean Anderson, the one who moistens panties, is appearing at the E3 Expo in LA to promote the new Stargate game. Personally, I'd dig a MacGyver game, where the goal was to escape from weird traps using ingenuity with a entire stage dedicated to blasting bad guys with a fire hose, but my dreams will never come true. People just don't think MacGyver is cool anymore.

Here's the press release. Make your way to LA, MacGyverites.

The t-shirt says it all.

Some guy tried to escape from prison in Colorado using a rope and grappling hooks made out of bedsheets and metal pieces of the table. Here's the picture of the criminal MacGyver. PICTURE

Here's the article if you want more details.

By the way, I saw a couple of MacGyver t-shirts at 80tees.com. The duct tape one was pretty cool, although I thought it was a crappy rendition of Mac.

The End of the MacGyver Knife?

I don't have a Swiss Army knife anymore. Nope. It's in a giant pile of its brethen somewhere in the depths of O'hare Airport. I never got a new one. Evidently, this is a huge phenomenon because the companies behind the knives have cut back production to focus on non-knife tools.

The article.

Just a thought, but don't you think if MacGyver was on today, he'd be a hacker instead of a superspy?

MacGyver Website Highlights

I wanted to thanks you guys for all the supportive emails that you've sent me. I really appreciate it and it return I'm going to start highlighting a favorite feature of various Mac sites. Today's feature is the MacGyver top ten lists at Live and Learn.

As a part-time comedy writer, I suppose I should write my own top ten list, but I believe in outsourcing. Feel free to submit any top ten lists to me. Best entry gets...a response email. Gentlmen, start your engines!

Penny Parker/ Desperate Housewife

Okay, so normally I try and start posting on Monday and then as no new MacGyver news comes in I benignly neglect the blog until the next week starts. This week, however, I 've been recovering from a weekend without sleep courtesy of the 48 hour film fest. It's this contest where basically you compete against other teams of filmmakers to make the best film in 48 hours or less. A random genre is given and then you go and make the film. Believe me, my fingers were crossed for spy movie. Instead, we got romance, so my spy trapped in a bathroom with a dead body and has to escape using his wits a la MacGyver will never see the light of day. Weep.

Anyway, I just wanted to point out that before Terri Hatcher became a star via Desperate Housewives, well actually she first became a star in Lois and Clark (the first season was great), that she was Penny Parker in that show of shows, MacGyver. But I'm sure you all knew that.

Cool MacGyverism (not from the show)

In my ever lengthening quest to become more MacGyver-y...by the way, I have the trademark on the term MacGyver-y...in my ever lengthening quest to become more MacGyver-y I search the web for cool tricks. With this one you can start a fire with a coke can and a chocolate bar. It has pictures---neato!

http://www.trackertrail.com/survival/fire/cokeandchocolatebar/

MacGyver News Reference of the week

Okay, so maybe I'm a little protective of the term MacGyver. I thinks it's great that "to macgyver" something means to improvise a solution out of everyday materials. But for some reason I don't find making a splint out of socks and newspapers to be particularly MacGyveresque. I mean, aren't splints always improvised out of what's lying around? If you break your leg and you're not in a hospital, then you're going to need a splint. So you pick up a couple of sticks and some duct tape, boom you got a splint. Splints are always MacGyvered for Christmas sakes, so do you really need to say that a splint made of socks and newspaper is in some way extra MacGyver-y. *sigh* Anyway, here's the article that annoyed me.

File under: Freak (The MacGyver Cookbook)

So I found a link to something called the MacGyver Cookbook, which kinda weirded me out because an ex-girlfriend and I had an idea for a book called MacGyver in the Kitchen and I thought maybe she went ahead and did it. Well, she didn't. Instead a discovered a picture of a freaky Nordic guy posing as MacGyver. Here's the link:

The freak.

By the way, the idea of MacGyver in the Kitchen was a book collecting interesting folk remedies to common household problems. Like using toothpaste to shine silver. Okay, let me restate that idea, using common household products (there we go) to solve everyday problems. I thought it was a good idea, what do you people think?

This American Life: MacGyver

I love This American Life. It's a radio show on NPR, usually on Sundays. Well, I was 'trolling through their archives and discovered a MacGyver themed episode. The part about Prisoners' inventions is the most interesting. I guess we now know what would have became of Angus MacGyver if there was ever a crossover episode with Oz. Let's just say the knife gets replaced with toilet paper. Oh, and that cool prison rape avoidance device he makes with duct tape.

The link to the radio show.

MacGyver in the News Reference of the Day

A boring USA Today article about football with a throwaway mention of MacGyver, which if you weren't aware was originally broadcast as a companion to Monday Night Football because they both appeal to the young male demographic. Of course, the women I know loved MacGyver more than any guys did.


The article

MacGyver in the News Reference of the Day

MacGyver mentioned in reference to a swiss army knife which is only mentioned as a metaphor in reference to a Canadian general and frankly and couldn't follow the article. My eyes glazed over after I read "Canadian army."

The article.

Britney Spears Hates MacGyver

In a recent post on her official website Britney Spears indicated that she despised MacGyver calling it a "boring show". Though she did say that Richard Dean Anderson was a hottie.

Or not. C'mon people, do you think I'd actually visit Britney's website! We all know her sister's website is much more interesting. www.jamielynnspears.com

Mathew McConaughey as MacGyver

Somebody thinks so. Well, at least in the new movie Sahara evidently Mr. McConaughey displays MacGyver-like qualities.

Click here for the review.

MacGyver Spotted Again!

Yep, got another email from that nutball, Murdoc Rules!. It's edited for family viewing.

Dear Mac Guy.

It's so f**king awesome that you posted my s**t. If Murdoc didn't rule so much than I'd say you rule. But you suck. Cuz you like talk about MacGyver who isn't even cool enough to be cool as Murdoc. Murdoc Rules!

Anyway, I saw MacGyver again. In B.C. OH yeah. This time, he was like walking 8 dogs on one leash. Ha! From the Phoenix foundation to professional dog-walker! Bet he has to scoop up--
(that's when I had enough. It goes on and on about the poop for another page -- Mac Guy).

Until next time loser,

Murdoc Rules!

Book Excerpt: Introduction

Okay, so here's another taste of the book. I think you'll get a good sense of the tone (irreverent--a word so overused it's almost lost its meaning) . Enjoy.

Excerpt:

Who wouldn’t want to be a little bit more like MacGyver? Smart and handsome, MacGyver led a life of excitement and adventure. Yet this is not why millions of Americans still find him intriguing today.

No, it’s because he could make a bomb out of household cleaning supplies.

In the seven years MacGyver was on the air, he managed to handle any predicament using intelligence, ingenuity, and a pocketknife. Most of his amazing tricks followed from the principles taught in high school science classes. While you might not be as resourceful as MacGyver in a pinch, by following the instructions in this book you can perform many of MacGyver’s feats.

Here at the Rogues Inc. Labs, we’ve always fancied ourselves to be like TV’s MacGyver: brainy, resourceful, and easy on the eyes. We have Swiss Army knives, personal supplies of duct tape, and cool mullet haircuts. And, we too, never manage to score, even with plenty of lovely ladies around.

Imagine our excitement when our lord and master, Rogue captain Dean Moriarty, demanded that we recreate MacGyver’s tricks to see if they would actually work. After a two-hour lunch, we eagerly prepared ourselves for a trial test of Mac’s tricks. First, we emptied the cafeteria cabinets at Rogues Inc. of all the common household supplies we could find. We then set to work creating arc welders, smoke bombs, and lie detectors.

Next, we rounded up some of the Rogues Inc. interns to recreate some of MacGyver’s great escapes. We can still see the look on Etienne’s face when we doused him with kerosene and tossed him into a pit of snakes. We probably should have warned him first. But as we testified in court: was it our fault he only understood French?

Fortunately, the kerosene trick worked with the snakes. In retrospect, we should have waited until Etienne was cleaned off before we tested out the cold capsule explosive trick. Lesson learned. Some of MacGyver’s tricks can be dangerous. Be careful and have fun. And please, don’t get a mullet.

The MacGyver Book Chapter List

Chapter I: Great Escapes

The Amazing MacGyver: How to Escape from a Straitjacket while Trapped Underwater

Keep Your Cool: How to Escape from a Meat Locker

Escape from an Incinerator

Escape a Pack of Hunting Dogs

Take That, Indy: How to Escape from a Pit of Snakes

Escape from the Basement of a Collapsed Building

Chapter II: Car Troubles

Recharge a Car Battery with a Bottle of Wine

Repair a Broken Fuel Line with a Ballpoint Pen

Make a Stick-Shift Car Drive Itself

Repair a Busted Brake Line While in a Moving Car

Fake a Flat Tire

Lift Your Car with a Innertube

A MacGyver Classic: Make an Arcwelder from a Car Battery and Pocket Change

Chapter III: Angus Macgyver: Superspy/Chemistry Teacher

Make a Fire Extinguisher with the Contents of Your Kitchen Cabinet

Stop an Acid Leak with a Chocolate Bar

Read the Contents of a Burned Sheet of Paper

Make a Homemade Spectroscope

Develop Film with Battery Acid, Ammonia, and Orange Juice

Make Your Own Homemade Tear Gas

Power a Radio with a Cactus

Create Your Own Homemade Fog

Chapter IV: Breaking and Entering (use only for good, not for evil)

Pick a Lock with a Swiss Army Knife

Crack a Safe with a Telephone Handset

Fool a Thumbprint Reader with Candle Wax and Pool Chalk

Hotwire a Phone to Listen to a Call in another Room

Fool a Motion Detector with Only a Light Bulb

Bypass a Keypad Security Lock with a Pencil

Disarm a Laser Beam Alarm System

Fool a Motion Detector with Chemistry

Chapter V: Party Tricks and Diversions

Undress a Woman with a Paper Clip and a Piece of Thread

Make a Lie Detector with a Blood Pressure Cuff and an Alarm Clock

Make Fake Blood with Drain Cleaner

Make a Soda Machine Shoot Soda Cans

Knock Out the Lights with Window Cleaner

Win Yahtzee Every Time: Make Buffed Dice

Chapter VI: Bombs and Booby-traps

Make a Timebomb with a Glass of Water, a Cold Capsule, and Sodium Metal

Watch out Yogi Bear: Build Pinecone Landmines

Make your Kitchen into a Death Trap!

Fend off Thugs with a Fire Hose: A Humorous MacGyver Classic

Disarm a Missile with a Paperclip

PDF is now ready!

Follow the Amazon link on the right side of the page and you can download the book. Cool, eh?

Check out the sample entries I posted in March to get an idea of the book. I'll also provide the chapter list in the next post.

My book is at the printers!

Woo hoo! After a long wait, the book is at the printers just waiting for a cover redesign. The first design sucked. The new one appears to be really good. When I get a copy of the cover image, I'll post it.

MacGyver Season 2 DVD and bittorrent

Release date: June 7, 2005. What are they going to release these every six months? Bastards, then they'll put out a complete set with every season and with a bunch of extras and I'll have to buy them all twice.

Of course, the savvy MacGyver fan knows he can download any episode she wants with Bittorrent. Check torrentspy.com. It's a torrent search engine. But you didn't hear it from me, or USA Today, or the Washington Post, or the New York Times.

The book in PDF form.

I'm trying this new Amazon Honor System thing so that anyone who wants to can buy the book in PDF form. I put a link on the right side on the blog. It'll take you to a page in Amazon that will provide instructions on how to download the PDF (well, once I actually write instruction--so don't try it yet because you won't get anything. I'll post again when the link becomes active.

New Magazine called Make

Check this out:

http://www.shreveporttimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050404/NEWS05/504040308/1064

It's an article about a new magazine that in dedicated to making cool stuff cheaply. And it featured a MacGyver challenge (well, they call it the Makeshift challenge) were they give you a situation and some items and you have to figure out have to make something to solve the problem. The first challenges involves a dead car battery. Which, of course, MacGyver handled with a bottle of wine.

News: MacGyver Arrested.

I found this fake news story. It seemed to be a good April Fools' Day post. The news: MacGyver was arrested for building a bomb on an airplane. Complete with photo. Read it here.

Bizarre MacGyver Reference of the Week

So some sportswriter is clearly a MacGyver fan, or he just ran out of baseball metaphors. The guy compared the upcoming season of the Aspen baseball team to a MacGyver episode, complete with references to some of MacGyver tricks. Believe me it makes no sense. Or you could just read the article.

http://www.aspentimes.com/article/20050330/SPORTS/103300019

"MacGyver Bomb"

A couple of kids in Oregon were arrested for "possessing a MacGyver bomb". The bomb was described as being made of toilet bowl cleaner, tin foil and a plastic liter soda bottle. Mac Guy does not recall any episode where MacGyver used this combo to blow something up. I guess anything homemade nowadays is considered a MacGyver bomb.

MacGyver bomb article

MacGyver Book Sample 2 -- Knock Out a Lights with Glass Cleaner

How to Turn Out the Lights with Formula 409

As Seen in Episode: 64 – Obsessed. Recurring nightmares about Murdoc make MacGyver sleepless and on edge as he provides security at the criminal trial of a deposed dictator.

What You Need

• A light fixture with a standard light bulb
  
• Formula 409
  
• Gun-toting thugs
  

What You Do

1. Wait until the thugs are underneath the lightbulb.
2. Brandish Formula 409 bottle in a threatening manner.
3. As the thugs are paralyzed with laughter at your ridiculous ploy, spray Formula 409 on the light bulb. Use liberally.
4. Watch as the glass from the imploding bulb falls into the faces of the thugs.
5. Run past blinded thugs.
6. Rest.
7. Run some more.
8. Have a beer and laugh about the dumb thugs and their plastic surgery bill.

Why It Works

Most lightbulbs are made of soda-lime glass. The Formula 409 window cleaner contains the chemical sodium hydroxide (NaOH) a corrosive chemical that reacts with the glass on the lightbulb. Because the glass in a light bulb is extremely thin, the NaOH eats through the glass very quickly. Then, because the inside of a light bulb is a vacuum (the complete absence of air) the outside air instantly rushes in to fill the vacuum, causing it to implode, the glass to shatter, and fall on the thugs.

MacGyver Book Sample 1 -- Develop Film with Orange Juice

How to Develop Film with Orange Juice

As Seen in Episode: 070 - The Survivors. MacGyver and Pete find a crashed DEA plane while on a rugged wilderness survival test and have to flee from the drug smugglers responsible for downing the plane.

What You Need

• Orange Juice Battery Acid (diluted)
• Ammonia Tongs or gloves
• Drug smugglers who have left incriminating film behind.
  

What You Do

1. Find your neighborhood dark room (or turn off the lights in your closet, genius).
2. Soak the film in orange juice for about ten minutes.
3. Put the film out of the orange juice.
4. Rinse film with ammonia.
5. Post any pictures with naked women on the Internet.
   

Why It Works

The film in your camera records the visible light reflected from the objects in the camera's field of view. Chemicals are then used to extract that image, either by you in a darkroom or by the pimply 18-year-old teenager at the Photomat.

MacGyver's film, like all film, consists of an emulsion painted onto clear plastic or glass. An emulsion is gelatin solution containing a group of tiny crystals known as silver halides. These silver halides are extremely sensitive to light. When you click your camera shutter you open a lens, allowing reflected light off of the subject of your photo to be captured by those amazing silver halide crystals. The result is called a latent image.

Chemicals, called developers, are then used to make the latent image visible. When developing film, the goal is to convert the silver halides into metallic silver, using a series of complex and offsetting reactions with acids and bases. Bases are bitter-tasting substances like soap while acids are corrosive, sour tasting substances like lemon juice. It's a somewhat complex chemical process to go through just to get a photograph of someone's eyes closed! Oh, and did we mention this must all be done in complete darkness?

MacGyver used the orange juice as a developer. As everyone knows, orange juice contains a lot of Vitamin C. Vitamin C is actually an acid, ascorbic acid. Ascorbic acid is a very good developer if combined with an alkaline, baking soda for instance. MacGyver skipped this step. Some commercial developer chemicals use a form of ascorbic acid as their primary ingredient. So MacGyver is on the right track.

After the developer has taken effect, and it might be a while just using orange juice, the chemical conversion process must be stopped. The step is called the stop bath. Rinsing the film with water should be sufficient to stop the process.

Next, a fixer is used to dissolve the undeveloped silver halides. If one does not dissolve the undeveloped halides then when your film is exposed to light, it will go entirely black! As a fixer, MacGyver used ammonia, which is a very strong base.

Here's the chemical formula:

Developer + Fixer = Film Orange Juice (C2H4O2) + Ammonia (NH4) = Film

Hey, we left out the battery acid! And MacGyver should have, too. It was unnecessary. Battery acid, also known as sulfuric acid is sometimes used a part of a bleaching agent to reduce the contrast in the developed film to achieve an artistic effect. If you ask us, the last thing you want to be doing is being artsy with sulfuric acid.

And for all you caffeine addicts, feel free to substitute coffee for orange juice. The caffeic acid, we couldn't believe either, makes an excellent developer. Just remember to stir in a spoonful of baking soda before you dip the undeveloped film.

MacGyver Virtual Seasons.

So I mentioned this before, but some people are still writing MacGyver episodes, well, they were, it looks like the last one was posted in 2001. Anyway, if you're curious about what MacGyver would have done after the series ended, these guys have some answers. And no, Stargate is not one of them.

So I read a couple of them and they're interesting. Up at the level of Tom Clancy. I wish that were more of a compliment. I'd prefer more cool tricks than they offer, but that is my thing, you'll know that when my book comes out.

Check it out and tell me what you think: www. macvs.com

Oh yeah, a disclaimer: I hate fan fiction. And Paris Hilton. Kisses.

Mac Guy

Young MacGyver

In case any of you missed it, there was supposed to be a show on the WB called Young MacGyver following the adventures of Angus MacGyver's nephew. A pilot was shot with Jared Padelecki, Rory's badboy boyfriend on Gilmore Girls (I love that show). Evidently, it sucked so the WB decided not to air it. Check out the details at IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0352117/.

The guy who directed the pilot episode, Stephen Herek, also directed the Mighty Ducks, and well...Mr. Holland's Opus, so clearly he's inconsistent.

The original producers were on board, Fonzie included, so it could have been good. We'll never know.

One of the hazards of writing a blog is that you get email from freaks. Here's an email sent to me by a guy who calls himself Murdoc Rules! I'm shocked he didn't spell it with a z.

I'm going to call him the MacGyver Stalker, or nutball, whatever is easier to type.

Nutball's email:

Hey Mac Guy, you suck. Murdoc rules.

You never give any info about the whereabouts of MacGyver which is fine because I know exactly where he is. The Tim Horton's in Squamish, British Columbia. He's eating a 20 pack of Timbits. They're like Munchins except Canadian.

Sincerely,

Murdoc Rules!


Hmm, British Columbia, I guess Mac wanted to go somewhere where his hairstyle would always stay current.

MacGyver DVD now available.

It took long enough, finally Mac is available in DVD form. Now, I can cancel my subscription to TVLAND.

Here's the link to Amazon.

My MacGyver Book, Pt. II

Needing illustrations, I crashed the wedding of an old friend and demanded that she illustrate the book, something she had never done before. So slowly but surely, she'd send me graphics and I'd complain and she'd send me more until finally, the book was illustrated. And I was like, I better actually finish writing it, or else these graphics are going to be useless. So I did.

Tired of the agent route, I decided to get a publisher myself. Agents, by the way, and I've had very good ones, pretty much just mail out a copy of your proposal to editors that they know at the big publishing houses(all five of them). That's where the money is. Agents don't bother with the small presses. I managed to get a small publisher, Argonne Hotel Press, to take the book on. Now I am just waiting for the book to get published...

My MacGyver Book

So about three years ago my agent told me to come up with a good idea for a book in the vein of the Worst Case Scenario Guide. It happened to be around Thanksgiving so I went to my parent's house in Illinois and did what any good child would do, hid away in the den with its giant TV and Satellite TV. But it was the Tivo that got me. My dad had recorded nearly every MacGyver episode on Tivo. Suddenly, it clicked. I'd write a book about how MacGyver did his cool tricks. I mean, it's not like I could sit there and enjoy the show's incredibly bad dialogue.

So I pitched the book to my agent and he gave me the go ahead. And I started working on it. Then the agent dropped me because the travel book he had signed me for wasn't selling. Check out www.rogues-guide.com if you're curious about it. The next agent I got, didn't go for the MacGyver book so I put it in a drawer half-written. Then I went to Brazil, for awhile, and some other places too. That took about a year. During that time, the new agent had dropped me, and somehow it didn't faze me as I was sitting on Copacabana Beach sipping from a coconut at the time.

Anyway, I got back to the States, tanned and deeply in debt, and found the dusty MacGyver manuscript. I read it and thought this is pretty good, if it just had illustrations...

My handle

It's come to my attention that my handle, Mac Guy, might lead people to believe that I am a proponent of Apple Computers. Nope. I wish I could afford one of those shiny Mac laptops with the widescreen. But I'm poor, so instead I have an old Pentium 2 (yeah I said Pentium 2) IBM laptop with a flickering screen. But I could become a Macintosh Guy, I really, really could...are you listening Steve Jobs? Mac Guy for sale. Price: one brand new Mac laptop with a widescreen.

Widescreen. Because doncha hate when you have to scroll over to see all of your porn collection?

If MacGyver was an Electrical Engineer..

There's now a site devoted to making cool DIY electronics gear. My favorite is the Altoid Tin MP3 player. Of course, I didn't actually make it or anything. Please, I have an Archos 20gig jukebox--that's right not an Ipod. Not an Ipod. There are other MP3 players out there people.

Anyway, the site is http://www.hackaday.com/. Very cool if you went to MIT. But then again if you went to MIT, anything would be cool to you.

MacGyver Projects

Check out Readymade Magazine (http://www.readymademag.com/). They have a monthly column devoted to cool things you can make with household objects. They named it after some TV superspy, I can't remember which one...

Welcome

If you're reading this you clearly have an unhealthy fixation with a certain Angus MacGyver. Well, I can't promise to clothe or feed you, but I can try and give you an occasional Mac hit. News about MacGyver is hard to come by, the promises of the WB's Young MacGyver series faded a couple years ago. Now it's just those kids doing the Virtual MacGyver series over at www.macvs.com. They are already finished with the Ninth season. One wonders if Mac ever discovered the Internet. I couldn't tell you, I can't stand fan fiction. But hey, I haven't read Harry Potter yet either, so who knows what I'm missing.