Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Book Excerpt: Introduction

Okay, so here's another taste of the book. I think you'll get a good sense of the tone (irreverent--a word so overused it's almost lost its meaning) . Enjoy.


Who wouldn’t want to be a little bit more like MacGyver? Smart and handsome, MacGyver led a life of excitement and adventure. Yet this is not why millions of Americans still find him intriguing today.

No, it’s because he could make a bomb out of household cleaning supplies.

In the seven years MacGyver was on the air, he managed to handle any predicament using intelligence, ingenuity, and a pocketknife. Most of his amazing tricks followed from the principles taught in high school science classes. While you might not be as resourceful as MacGyver in a pinch, by following the instructions in this book you can perform many of MacGyver’s feats.

Here at the Rogues Inc. Labs, we’ve always fancied ourselves to be like TV’s MacGyver: brainy, resourceful, and easy on the eyes. We have Swiss Army knives, personal supplies of duct tape, and cool mullet haircuts. And, we too, never manage to score, even with plenty of lovely ladies around.

Imagine our excitement when our lord and master, Rogue captain Dean Moriarty, demanded that we recreate MacGyver’s tricks to see if they would actually work. After a two-hour lunch, we eagerly prepared ourselves for a trial test of Mac’s tricks. First, we emptied the cafeteria cabinets at Rogues Inc. of all the common household supplies we could find. We then set to work creating arc welders, smoke bombs, and lie detectors.

Next, we rounded up some of the Rogues Inc. interns to recreate some of MacGyver’s great escapes. We can still see the look on Etienne’s face when we doused him with kerosene and tossed him into a pit of snakes. We probably should have warned him first. But as we testified in court: was it our fault he only understood French?

Fortunately, the kerosene trick worked with the snakes. In retrospect, we should have waited until Etienne was cleaned off before we tested out the cold capsule explosive trick. Lesson learned. Some of MacGyver’s tricks can be dangerous. Be careful and have fun. And please, don’t get a mullet.


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